Words I Held

Vellum

clear pocket

absolutely vulnerable but pretending you’re not

a hint

lift to fully reveal

window envelope

fish net stocking

trace around

cyanotype

emboss

watch them fade

rubbing with pencil or charcoal over a gravestone, public utility, bark, every etc.

finish in one sitting without looking at the clock

blindfold yourself and write/create

pay someone at least two hours to make you a piece of art completed in the paid time slot, or be the one being commissioned

remove all indications of time passing. stay away from windows, clocks, your cell, the TV, computer, etc. focus only on what you’re working on. cease only when you’ve grown hungry.

write about what you fear, end when you become less afraid

place paper on the wall or table or anywhere with an interesting shadow, trace around it. write only within that space of what it conjures. or create that scene inside it

create a shadow puppet along with fellow characters, props and setting. construct a play with an arc and acts. perform it for an audience, even if it’s just your phone.

fixate on what pissed you off recently. give yourself permission to emote but not in a self-destructive way. put it into art/writing

compose a letter aimed at the target until you’re no longer angry. light it on fire safely and flush the ashes in a toilet while cussing at that asshole person/event/object

write down as illegibly as you want something you despise. create an abstract painting or mixed media piece over it just throwing shit on the canvas or paper. slam paintbrushes down, smear charcoal, scribble rapidly til you bore a hole, etc. be so focused it becomes beautiful

take a picture of something or someone you despise. it could be just a representative photo of their logo or what you feel embodies them well, like a dumpster fire. or simply a word. tear it up as you cuss them out. create a collage with it and transform it into something you need

bring to the canvas or any substrate a conundrum you want to work through. write it out, depict it, collage over it what you desire through magazine clippings, fortune cookie slips, fragments you write on, continue until you feel you understand

choose a random word as a starting point, play word association and write down the next thing you consider, and continue and continue until you land on a question, keep responding until you find a satisfactory answer, scribble over it with a fitting color

ask yourself a question you were puzzled over ages ago, finally answer it with the experience and lessons you have now

look up a word you don’t know the meaning of. or one you think you know well. within, find an intriguing definition and illustrate it somehow. use it as the theme of your tale, as a self-portrait, to share a memory you never shared before. go on until you learn something about yourself or the world

find out the name of something you don’t know but see every day. like a certain structure on a building, a name of your fellow daily commuter, or what sort of pigeon that is. depict it somehow, whether it’s as a doodle, in flash fiction. but only work on it in the presence of that object/person.

on a bad day, list all that went well, even if it just boils down to you breathing correctly, that can be enough. keep listing until you feel better

you’re facing a bad consequence of your actions, find the good in it, even if it takes years—something substantially good can happen

when it’s completely dark outside, but daybreak will arrive in the next hour, start making a piece of art or writing. watch how the light brightens the substrate and try something new in a different direction. figure out how you’re feeling in this process

build a DIY pinhole camera, preferably from in an upcycled form like a tin box. use black and white film and color and have them developed. take it a step further and incorporate the prints in your art and writing. gift a photo to the person who was the subject with a written message on the back and date.

sing or hum to yourself as you recall a bittersweet memory you can’t talk about with the person you shared the event with. write a letter to them, read it, and tear it up as the last note plays

create a work that depict a beloved item long lost. write a story of how you find it again

in the presence of a devastated loved one, sing softly to them and gently grasp them. their confusion and your sweetness & sincerity will help

your treasure broke--sing as you gather the pieces and safely discard them. perhaps keep one as a memento

write about the one person you want to see tonight. be as passionate as you want and tell them all the wonderful things you can do together when you reunite. propose at least one of those events to them in the morning

create the ideal location you want to be in with them after you pick them up, take a photo of it and message it with the text “wanna tonight?”

write everything you want to say to them, practice it in front of an empty chair, try it in real life

list all your dream projects you want to rendezvous with in the next few hours. go for what excites you and terrifies you the most—the most brimming with possibility is who you’ll see tonight

take the work in progress you are blocked in. try different directions, combine it with different forms, genres, mediums, until you’re happy with the outcome

you don’t know what to do next, decision-making wise. write out every single choice you have, as absurd or as rote as it is. then respond with all the possibilities, as disastrous and as ideal as can be. cross out any that won’t bode well and circle what’s left. this will be your next step.

you’re uncomfortable where you are in life. do everything you can to take yourself out of it

retrieve an embarrassing moment and fight through the shame as you refashion it in your mind into a kinder, more affirming revision. where you win this time around

get alone with someone you want to be close to and become vulnerable. encourage them to be open too and tell them why you like them, but don’t force them to be open and don’t pry

write down what you secretly admire about them and hand it over quietly

write a slightly salacious or uncomfortable question that you want to pose to the public in chalk somewhere. leave some chalk pieces for folks to answer. don’t leave until you write down your own reply

a hour before bedtime, place your phone away from your bedroom. write in your journal or fill up your sketchbook. let that substrate be the last object you set your eyes on.

hold a photo of your beloved as you talk to them on the phone on speaker or through headphones so you don’t look at your phone. after you hang out, kiss it or hold it to your chest and say a prayer for them or declare your gratitude aloud

project on your screen—literally or imaginatively—your daydreams, desires, your favorites. let them guide you to sweet reveries and momentum for tomorrow

recall a moment when you were absolutely present. draw the scene out or write it all out. replicate the moment or feeling as best you can

finger paint like a kindergartener. dip your fingers and palms, and even your toes and step or slam a large piece of paper. do it until it’s completely covered or your body is. take a photo and let it dry. next day write over it how it felt

take a walk and leave all electronics behind, including your watch. bring with you some writing and art utensils and a small notebook or sketchbook. document every passing interest, any interesting thought, all the tangents. head home when you discover something brand new to you.

take a moment that was just for fun and nothing substantial, write or create how it became so much more

what class or workshop led to a fervent love? make in that medium and celebrate

recall the day you stepped out of your home and ran into something big and wonderful unexpectedly. write down why you’re ecstatic you left the house

pinpoint the search word that led to a rabbit hole of awe and thrill. what is your wonderland?

write or make art about a time where you desperate to express how you feel but couldn’t. once done, give yourself a hug and decide if you want to share with someone you trust

go somewhere isolated and scream into a tape recorder or your phone’s audio recording app. yell about all the things going wrong, even yourself. do it til you’re spent. return home and listen to it on headphones. observe if you feel any differently. make art based on the recording

on your wall, tack up anything you despise, feel sad over, desperate over. fill up the entire wall until the wallpaper or paint can’t be seen where you can comfortably reach. take a panorama photo of it. then run a sharpie or paint over it in splotches and scribbles until you’re satisfied. take a photo of that as well. take the wall down and discard them, as you say aloud how you want to feel now and what you want for everybody else involved

fill up a small notebook with your secrets and shames and guilts and sins. hide it somewhere in public, walk a distance away. watch if someone picks it up and reads

project above what you want to happen tomorrow, next week, next year, next decade. next day take the first step necessary

post a question to your ceiling. ask every day until you wake up with your answer

stick glow in the dark stars and a moon. make wishes each night and see if any come true

remember a time when things were going so well but it soon fell apart. were you able to return to some sort “good” normalcy? or did it eventually transpire to something better? write it out

what was the moment you felt quite differently about your writing/art practice? that it became transgressive or worked against you somehow when it used to be easier? were you able to move past it or did you become comfortable?

name a time when an idol or favorite creator let you down somehow. write a letter to them which you don’t have to send.

remember that time you held onto something so good and fumbled. write an account where you find it again

depict that dream where you had something you wish exists in real life

detail where you fell for a scam

write fan fiction or create fan art where you become a character in that storyline

list all the possibilities of your present life. for every “good” one, dictate a “bad” and mundane probabilities. find the many reasons your current one is the best possible

look inside your memory bank and recall an once forgotten memory. write as much of it as you can so you don’t lose it again.

write down your bucket list. do all the ones you can perform TODAY.

scrawl all the people you want to talk to again but your pride is in the way. pick up the phone

picture yourself on our deathbed, how do you ideally want to die as? famous and published widely? a beloved matriarch? proud owner of your own company? make the first step towards that end of life

when the moment is right, kiss them consensually

or build the ideal environment where you would love to kiss them, then act on it

make an elaborate valentine with a thoughtful gift and give it on an average day

spend a day creating art for strangers. typewriter poetry on the street. caricatures, mime, singing, playing instruments. make something unique and specific to them. donate tips to charity

write about the choice you wish you took. how different your life would be now. find a way to choose it in your own present way

control your wandering eye. list why this present partner/choice/outcome/life is truly beneficial

subvert capitalism. do art for fun and not for monetary gain. lie down and do not touch your phone nor computer. daydream without making it into a productivity exercise

do the things you always deny yourself of: that midday nap, late night snack, binge a show a bit, buy a record, go thrifting. do it anyway

don’t follow societal demands, or even family ones if they afflict you. make the art you desire. leave it out in public for someone to take

write them a letter, mail them a package, write a lengthy text or email. share how you feel and what they make you wanna do.

draw their ceiling and your ideal lighting even if they don’t have those fixtures and constellations or skylight. write on it the statement or question you’ve been dying to s(t)ay

fight against the wave and finally smile happy during those final moments

make a list of truths and affirmations you can hold onto when the dark hour arrives. validations of your existence and Possibility

refute all the lies Society, bullies, strangers, and loved ones have told you about yourself. remember how you keep yourself safe and you deserve your own love

blueprint your next project, what you want to be known for. no matter how far-fetched, please try

work on a present that’s handmade for someone you care about or want to be close to

plan out tomorrow. do your best to fulfill each quest. document your favorite achievements

write your own list of prompts to be guided by. make it any theme you want. complete each one as often as you can manage

meditate and picture your ideal future. who or what do you come home to? begin